its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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