This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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