Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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