Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
