everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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