Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
