really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize