Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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