Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
