I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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