Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
