Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
