S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i dont even know how to be here
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
