morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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