He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
