He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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