Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
