I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
