yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize