i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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