All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
