Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
