i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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