It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
