just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize