dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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