I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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