Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
