I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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