I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
