Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
