how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
