This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
