Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
