once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
