last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
