The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize