HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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