i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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