I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
