party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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