one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
