PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
