Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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