Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
