There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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