I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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