i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
