Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
