He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
