How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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