I want to walk on stilts...naked
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize