My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
