His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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