OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
