i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
