Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
