Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
