I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
