This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
