you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
