Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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