That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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