You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
