I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
