very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
