I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
