C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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