oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
