Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
