you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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