Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
